Monday, March 28, 2005

A Retro List...

Implausible Claims Made By Vanilla Ice In His 1990 #1 Hit, "Ice, Ice, Baby"
By Doug Erickson

"Ice is back with my brand-new invention."
"Turn off the lights and I'll glow."
"I rock a mike like a vandal."
"I'm killin' your brain like a poisonous mushroom."
"I'm cooking MCs like a pound of bacon."
"I go crazy when I hear a cymbal and a high hat."
"I grabbed my nine."
"I'm a lyrical poet."
"My style's like a chemical spill."
"If my rhyme was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram."
"If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it."

Hat tip: McSweeneys.net

NCAA: Insult to Injury

From today's "The 10 Spot" at CNNSI.com...

"It's going to take years for Kansas fans to get over the team's shocking first-round upset to the Patriot League's Bucknell Bison. The task won't be made easier by the fact that for the next five years, the state of Kansas' personalized license plates will feature -- yes -- a bison."

Oh yeah...and my Wisconsin Badgers went on to beat Bucknell and move on to the Elite Eight regional finals.

Look-Alike Contest Fails to Recognize the Original

This illustration from PreachingToday.com caught my attention...

Charlie Chaplin was a huge movie star in the silent-picture era. One of the by-products of his popularity were the look-alike contests that sprung up around the country. Contestants attempted to imitate Chaplin dressed as the tramp character he made popular in his films. Even the young up-and-coming actor Bob Hope entered such a contest in Cleveland, Ohio, and won.

Legends have sprung up that Chaplin himself took part in one contest. Steve Chandler in his book 100 Ways To Motivate Yourself says Chaplin was on holiday in Monaco when he decided to enter a Chaplin look-alike contest. Others cite the incident as taking place in Switzerland.

Although the event has been embellished through the years, it did occur. Chaplin entered a look-alike contest in a San Francisco theatre. Amazingly, Chaplin failed to even make the finals.

In a similar way, sometimes we do not recognize the truth about God when it is staring us in the face.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

How Barry Zito Sees His World

Oakland Athletics pitcher Barry Zito took a bunch of pictures for Sports Illustrated and they ended-up on their website.

Check it out to see how the other half lives.

What's In Your Bag

Apparently, there are a lot of people out there that are interested in anonymously showing the world what's in their bag/purse/luggage/etc.

And, the website Flickr.com has figured out, there are even more people who are interested in looking at other people's stuff, even though they don't know who it belongs to.

Check it out for yourself and find out if you're a bag exhibitionist, a bag voyeur, or like me and you could care less but find this new trend funny.

Perhaps the more interesting thing would be to attempt to predict what this trend will lead do...as all good trends typically eventually morph into a new, and related, idea.

May I suggest...

What's On Your Head? Guess the brand of hair products a pictured person uses.

What's In Your Mouth? Guess what's in a pictured person's pie-hole.

What's Under There? Pictured persons in trench coats hide their hidden fashions.

What's In My Head? What is the pictured person thinking at the time of the photograph...it's an off-shoot idea of the old "Create-a-caption" contests.

What ideas do you have? Make a comment and tell me!

Mountain Dew = Killer?

How many cans of Mountain Dew would it take to kill you if you drank them all in one sitting?

It's a questions we ask ourselves often. But, how many would it really take?

Fortunately, through the efforts of one person -- and a lot of algorithms, postulations, and equations -- we're now able to crack the scientific code so we can now know for sure how many cans of Mountain Dew it would take to kill any one of us.

Enter your weight here.

It would take 204.74999985 cans to take me down. How about you?

Thursday, March 17, 2005

A Seriously CHEAP Band

This is what you do when your band can't afford drums.

But what's up with the one dude's crack action? Perhaps they're plumbers in their day jobs.

Can you say "Gimmick Band"?

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Air Drumming Scares Customers

A service station attendant in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, recently lost his job after refusing to stop "air drumming" on the job. It was frightening the customers, and so Christopher Garcia had to go -- for the good of the gas station.

This is a story we hear almost every day. It's so common. There are so many people out there that are simply addicted to air drumming, so much so that it becomes an obsession.

We've all seen a loved one or two succomb to this truly tempting habit, and it's tough to know what to say after they've just lost their fourth or fifth job because of this addition.

There may not be any 12-step programs out there yet, but we can all take a moment to step in their shoes and understand the blessing and the curse of being able to keep perfect time with that song in your head.

I hope I'm not next.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Need a Building? Just Add Water

Impressive engineering!

In a world with millions of refugees, numerous war zones and huge areas devastated by natural disaster, aid agencies and militaries have long needed a way to quickly erect shelters on demand.

Soon, there will be such a method. A pair of engineers in London have come up with a "building in a bag" -- a sack of cement-impregnated fabric. To erect the structure, all you have to do is add water to the bag and inflate it with air. Twelve hours later the
Nissen-shaped shelter is dried out and ready for use.

Read more...

More News of the Strange

This story, appropriately, comes out of Milwaukee...

Bowling Balls Come in Different Scents

MILWAUKEE - Odors associated with bowling traditionally include smelly feet, cigarette smoke and beer. But what about grape, amaretto and cherry? One bowling ball manufacturer — Storm Products Inc. — is putting fruit and other popular scents into its mid- to high-end bowling balls, resulting in a steady increase in sales.

More than half the bowlers on the Professional Bowlers Association tour last year used them, including four-time PBA champion Ryan Shafer.

Shafer, who has a contract with Storm, said he may have won a match two years ago in Kansas City because an opponent was distracted by his black licorice-scented ball.

"He asked me if I had to use that ball and I said, 'Yes, this ball is working' ... and I think that is why I won," he said.

Read More Here

Monday, March 14, 2005

Talking To Your Kids About Touchy Subjects

This great blog entry from McSweeneys.net offer some grand advice...

Raising kids today is more challenging than ever, but communication is key. Some subjects might make you uncomfortable, but addressing them honestly now will really help you out down the road. These sample dialogues are a road map to addressing life's thornier issues.
==========
The Facts of Life

CHILD: Where do babies come from?
MOM: What babies? I don't see any babies around here, do you?
CHILD: I mean, when people have babies, where do they come from?
MOM: Space.
CHILD: Does that mean I'm from space?
MOM: Yes. You're from Mars.
CHILD: (Crying.) I'm a Martian?
MOM: Yes, and if you don't make your bed every day, Mommy and Daddy will send you back to Mars to live with your real parents.
CHILD: You're not my real mom?
MOM: No. You're a Martian princess that was sent to live with an Earth family for your own protection. Your real mom is 16 feet tall and shoots lasers out of her eyes when she gets mad. Think about that next time I send you to your room. At least I didn't burn all your toys with my laser-eyes.
==========

I'd link to the entry for more, but the rest of it isn't funny and has unneccesary language.

What is "unnecessary language"? It's language that's not necessarily funny, but the author thinks it should be said anyway.

I'm Batman!

Thanks to ThisIsTrue.com for these gems...

CAPED CRUSADER: Anders Mjelle, 22, is studying in Norway to become a pediatrician. While "practicing his signature during a prescription class," he realized his signature "just wasn't as cool as doctor signatures usually are," he says. "So I tried signing with the name to my old hero of heroes, Batman. That was much better." So much better that he has legally changed his middle name to Batman. "I believe being called Batman can definitely be something positive." (Aftenposten) ...Especially when dealing with Joker viruses, Riddler diseases and the inevitable Two Face bureaucrat.

DOGGED DETERMINATION: Girlamo A. Marinello, 38, of Shelby Township, Mich., led an Oakland County Sheriff's deputy on a high speed chase. Once finally cornered, he attacked the deputy -- by swinging a leashed French Poodle at him. Marinello was charged with assault with intent to commit great bodily harm, fleeing and eluding police, carrying a concealed weapon (presumably not the poodle), resisting and obstructing police, and animal cruelty. But Marinello escaped jail by being declared mentally incompetent. (Daily Oakland Press) ...Since anyone in their right mind would know a French Poodle is only a defensive weapon.

DEADLY OMISSION: According to a poll, Brits are tired of the Seven Deadly Sins (anger, envy, gluttony, greed, lust, sloth and pride), which were first outlined by Pope Gregory the Great in the 6th Century. The poll finds people want to replace most of them -- especially lust, though most are OK with greed being listed. The top replacement suggestions: adultery, bigotry, cruelty, dishonesty, hypocrisy and selfishness. (London Times) ...Darn it! hey forgot "stupidity" again!

Knock On Wood?

Have you ever seen a wooden-cased laptop computer?

Click on the image links on that page for a lot more images, and a better understanding of how they put it together.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Headline of the Week: "Seattle Declares Drought"

Hard to believe because Seattle is known for their constant rain. But, that's what happening.

Read it here

VIDEO: Check Out These Tough Guys - Tekken 5

These brief videos show what kind of men were not used in the inspiration stage of creating the new Tekken 5 video game.

Video 1 (my favorite)
Video 2
Video 3
Video 4

Thursday, March 10, 2005

An Exclusive New Hair Club to join

I'm not qualified to join the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists, but maybe you are?

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

FUN: Artificial Intelligence

It's actually possible to carry on an intelligent conversation with this ponytailed redhead.

Friday, March 04, 2005

This...From a Librarian!

Tribute To Ron Santo

Kudos to ESPN for putting together this tribute page to Cubs' great, Ron Santo.

The Hall of Fame Veterans' Committee may have shut him out once again, but that doesn't mean he's not a HOFer to the rest of the baseball world.

Nomar Garciaparrot!

I've discovered Zooperstars!

They have inflatable character costumes that people wear -- you've seen these at sporting events.

But these are different because they take real celebrity athletes and announcers and put a little animal twist on them. Some of the 26 characters include:

Mia Hammster
Shark McGwire
Clammy Sosa
Cow Ripken, Jr.
Whale Gretzky
Harry Canary
Pee Wee Geese
and Mackerel Jordan!

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Blogarama!!

My blog was just added to the listings at Blogarama ! Woo-hoo!

Not that I'm just mentioning them in order to make it into their "Most Cool" section or anything. Well, probably not at least.

I'm a sell-out.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

TPS Reports Meets The Superfriends

This great parody cartoon (or whatever you want to call it) is hilarious -- unless you haven't seen the movie Office Space.

Another Way Google Makes Money

Shhhh, this was supposed to be a secret, but we're on to you, Google.

Check out this link. There are people around the world whose only job is to click on PPC ads (those little pastel boxes that appear with most keyword searches on Google.

That makes people such as me, well, my company, pay for clicks that aren't legit.

Somehow, PPC marketing is still very beneficial for us...for now.

Sickening. And Google really doesn't evem try to hide it. Forget that whole "secret" comment. This is right out in the open. They even have people offering this through PPC ads. How that for irony??

All for the shareholders. All for the shareholders. $&#@%!!!

Yahoo Hits Puberty...almost

Yahoo has just turned 10 years old, and they're offering a free scoop of Baskin-Robbins ice cream to anyone on their newsletter list.

But even if you're not on one of their lists, everyone can enjoy this 10 year "Netospective."

(Pet Peeve alert: I get irked when someone feels clever about making up a "new word" by combining two words...as if it takes a genius to do so.)

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

VIDEO: Feel Great & Take Others Along for the Ride!

This NutriGrain Energy Bar ad will probably never make the airwaves here in the states, but it's stupid funny!