Monday, March 28, 2005

A Retro List...

Implausible Claims Made By Vanilla Ice In His 1990 #1 Hit, "Ice, Ice, Baby"
By Doug Erickson

"Ice is back with my brand-new invention."
"Turn off the lights and I'll glow."
"I rock a mike like a vandal."
"I'm killin' your brain like a poisonous mushroom."
"I'm cooking MCs like a pound of bacon."
"I go crazy when I hear a cymbal and a high hat."
"I grabbed my nine."
"I'm a lyrical poet."
"My style's like a chemical spill."
"If my rhyme was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram."
"If there was a problem, yo, I'll solve it."

Hat tip: McSweeneys.net

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